Hey, guys, I know I haven't been posting as much and I'm sorry about that; I'm just tired. I am so tired! Being a grown up is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Oh, how I miss being a kid! My mom did everything for me I wanted for nothing. Now looking back I don't know how she did it.
I am attempting (and failing at) to work a full tim job, pay my bills, take care of my fur babies, give my marriage the attention it deserves, maintain long distant friendships, and being the daughter and sister my family deserves. Somewhere in that list of things I have forgotten the most important part of life is taking care of yourself.
In order to accomplish everything I need to accomplish I have manage to place myself on the back burner. In order to have more time for all my other responsibilities I have cut out my personal time that I had been using to practice my spirituality.
I am one overwhelmed, vaguely human shaped, mess that's just trying to adult semi-effectively.
I partly blame my states school systems for not effectively preparing me for the world outside of academia and standardized testing, another part blames society and social media for promoting consumerism and the keeping up with the Jones' mentality, but the largest part of me blames myself.
Trying to be everything for everyone has left me so incredibly worn down and isolated.
I used to think I was alone in the way I was feeling, but that's just statistically not true. While part of me knew that my feelings were shared by many other's it's easy to get engulfed in those negative feelings.
So, how do we manage these negative feelings?
The first thing you have to do is acknowledge them. Identify the negative feelings you're feeling and bring them and star giving them some conscious thought. Nothing was ever solved by pretending it wasn't there.
For me this was something I struggled with. I am the queen of bottling up my feelings and placing them on a shelf so that I can accomplish the everyday tasks I need to accomplish. It's a little difficult to brush your teeth and cry at the same time.
Then for the hardest part. TAKE. YOURSELF. OFF. THE. BACK. BURNER. You have to take care of number one first and foremost. Now I know I'm talking a big talk, and 9/10 I can't walk the walk, but it's something I'm working towards.
My first step was reconnecting with my spirituality by doing yoga meditation. I simply took ten minutes right before bed to yoga meditate and it's been the domino that has started positive effects.